Never Too Early

posted by : Jon Kroupa on 10/12/2011

People are passionate about a lot of things. They feel strongly about diets, and religion, about politics, and about family values. Another thing people are crazy about it when a person is allowed to listen to Christmas music.

As you can see from the past I typically start getting a Christmas music itch in October. This year was no exception. As soon as the weather turned cold I started getting that Christmas spirit in me. If I had to describe the process I would say it started in low and then started to grow.

Of course because it is taboo, I have to hide my addiction from society. Society has no place for people who want to skip holidays willy nilly and jump all over the calendar (tomorrow I celebrate July 4th, 2014).

Many many people hold firm that you should only listen to music after Thanksgiving (in the United States), others are of the opinion that it can be sooner. There is even a faction of people who believe Christmas is a year-round event. (There are also people who hate Christmas and its music outright, these people are godless infidels.)

I have thus decided to create a definitive list of events that will signal it is appropriate to start listening to Christmas music again. If any of the following happens you may immediately break out the yule tide joy.

  • Thanksgiving just happened
  • The first snow of the year has come
  • The desire to drink hot chocolate is second to none
  • It is July, the month of the second Christmas
  • Some holiday inferior to Christmas has just happened (other than Thanksgiving)
  • Some holiday inferior to Christmas is coming up
  • You have found a secret place far away from society where you can hide from their hate

Given the latitude of the list I believe most people will now be able to accurately determine a time for them when they should feel comfortable with listening to Christmas music.