Church Choir

I am here to clear up some common misconceptions about choir.

Isn't choir only for girls?

No, in fact real men sing in the choir (incidentally, real men do not wear pink, those posers are not men). And guys, if choir is where the ladies are isn't that where you want to be too?

Aren't people in the choir conceited?

No, while it may be confusing to occasionally walk by a choir and hear them sing "me me me me me me me" it is a misnomer that they are talking about themselves. In fact MI is a musical note and is often used for warm-ups. (ie do re mi fa so la ti)

Won't I lose my dignity singing in the choir?

Singing in the choir is actually insurance for preserving your dignity. If you lose you dignity on your own, you are basically out of luck. As a member of the choir if you lose your dignity through some other activity the church will restore it ten fold, GUARANTEED!*

I need more motivation than meeting new friends, hobnobbing with the other choir folk, and the vast spiritual blessings, what can you offer me?

While it would not be financially viable to bribe you with cold hard cash, we can offer you delicious refreshments every Sunday after choir. Brother and Sister E. have all but put themselves into an early grave to make sure the best and most desirable foods are available to the choir.

Let me end by referencing a scripture.

Acts 17:35 - And Jesus' disciples joined the choir, and those that did not join were cast into the fiery pits.

The message is pretty clear, you should join the choir. There are great benefits and no pitfalls.

• This is not a guarantee.

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